Ah Wanderlust. I has it.
I has it real bad.
I can't sit still. I can't concentrate. I feel like I'm wasting time.
My brother-in-law is coming home from Canada in two months, and he's lived there the last two years. He's coming home via Mexico and Thailand. He's just done what I have wanted to do my whole life - live somewhere other than here.
Sometimes I joke with Kristin about homeswapping... my Sunshine Coast abode for her Kansas lodgings. Sometimes it's only half a joke.
I often wonder why I never made it to the other side of the world to set up camp. Life hasn't been easy and I was at uni and I never had enough money, excuses excuses. I tell myself if I wanted it that badly, I would have made it happen somehow. Anyhow.
But I didn't and I haven't. But that's not to say I won't. I haven't travelled much, but I want to so bad. I can feel it pulling in my chest, the deep longing of something you need to complete you as a human, but is always just out of reach.
And it's making me twitchy. Unsettled.
I want to be in places I've only ever seen pictures of before.
And even though I've been, I feel as though it's not enough.
|I can't tell you how excited I was to be here. I still don't know why I have such a crush on American politics. It can't be normal. It's all your fault, Bill Clinton.|
|I used to have a picture of this castle on my wall for inspiration when I got up every day and slaved 9 hours at a job I loathed. I knew that if I worked hard and saved hard, I'd get there one day. I did, but it was long after I left that job.|
|I want to ride my bike in Vancouver again, and hopefully not fall off this time. Thanks very much, person taking up the entire footpath so I had to navigate a gutter and completely lose my shit trying to re-mount it.|
|I want to walk into a restaurant where I can only speak Year 8 Japanese and order something I've never eaten before and have it be the best thing I've ever tasted.|
|I want my environment to be something completely different to home. Something totally the opposite. I want to be in awe.|
|I want to be on a tropical island with my love, without a care in the world. And this time I'd like somebody else to pick up the room charges... eep.|
Looking over these, I feel so fortunate. And so guilty. I am incredibly lucky to have experienced what I have, and to have these pictures and memories. Not everybody has that.
I feel guilty that this isn't enough for me.
So I need to turn my head around. I have an incredible job, that I love and am excited about. For that reason I won't move.
I have an incredible, amazing family and brand new baby and way-cute kitten. While I could take them anywhere in the world with me, we seem to belong here.
|Here, where the sun is like the air that I breathe and makes me happier than just about anything else could.|
|Here, where we play backyard cricket, and have barbecues and hang out with our friends and are near our families.|
I can't complain. And I know how lucky I am. But sometimes... London really does call.
Where do you want to be?