Such inspiration came last night when I read this post by Stoop Mama, where she finds her husband's Junior High love letters and publishes the best bits. I was ROFLWAFFLING all over my LOLERSKATES. My favourite?
: I love to just sit in my room, with soft music on, and think about you.
Unfortunately I threw all* my love letters away when I was 16 because I thought it was ridiculous to keep such things. I regret that, simply because it would have made a great post!
What I do have is my collection of school notes from my best friend Kylie. I explain about her and my last year of high school in 1996 here. She was hilarious, so I'm going to share some snippets of our angst-filled sixteen-year-old selves, where we a little bit mean, a lot boy crazy and mostly confused and clueless, which makes for a complex combination. Enjoy.
Scott Wolf is so godly, Dave Duchovny is so sexy, and my love life is non-existent while both of these gods have meaningful relationships with goddesses with perfect figures and great heads when they could be with me. Dumb idiots.
****
I'm looking for a brown-eyed Sagittarius, personally. Now, if you know any good looking Males, brown eyed (not necessarily long haired... mmm nup, changed my mind, long hair is a requirement to qualify for the Kylie Club of Babelicious Gods).
****
I still and always cherish our times and our precious Disney rituals forever and never forget how hard you made me laugh (til I actually cried), and those times you stood by me through all the bad times eg: parent troubles, boy troubles and PMS.
****
I'm glad you're not boyfriendless anymore. You deserve somebody special. Don't let this offend you, because Joel is definitely a very nice person, but you didn't even give Marcus lush babe, beast, god, heavenly creature (get the idea), you didn't give him a chance.
Freak.
Anyone with a brother like him is definitely worth a shot. Although he is in Year 8.
****
DEAR MR EDITOR
I'M WRITING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR ABSENSE TO THE STATE OF WESTERN AUSTRALIA AND WOULD BE MOST APPRECIATIVE FOR YOUR RETURN BACK IMMEDIATELY.
****
I hate my sister right now at this moment. I went down to "my" house to pin up two Scott Wolf posters and an Alanis poster, and she walked in with crumbly bikkies and I said please don't eat them in my room because I'll have to clean up the mess.
****
Guess what T**** [girl who was going out with my recent ex-boyfriend] said? "He is really pissing me off, he's so boring and ordinary, I need excitement in my life. I've always been like that!"
So I said "Why don't you dump him then?" (IDIOT FEATURES)
She goes, after flicking her blonde hair with pink streaks from her acne-destroyed poor excuse for a head, "I can't I love him too much".
****
How was your date with John? Sorry I didn't come over, my mum came home and couldn't take me, because as soon as she came home she went back out, leaving the call control on. I actually feel as though I flaked on you, what did you end up wearing? ****
(After she'd spent the most of the first day of her new school hiding in the toilets) Lunch time is not over yet and people in here probably think I am masturbating, which is a great start to life at a new school.
It's good hearing all the goss though. Some girl got really pissed the night of the sky show and got on with this mega babe. Another girl went shopping and bought a new bra, shorts, jeans and a top. Someone else said Year 8s who wear Cons should be bashed.
****
I think I should send these letters to you in case you think I've forgotten you. I'm sure your letters to me are probably stuck in a box or mistaken for important documents to NASA and were accidentally sent to space or something.
****
They call me depression,
And you wonder why?
Because I'm fucking depressed
you dense bitch
>> my poem. I call it "Why is My Body Changing?" Relevance to the poem... none.
****
It's now 9.30, first of all, guess who was on the phone? J. I had to say goodbye to him at 8.25pm because my stupid too-smart-at-maths-for-her-own-good-ruining-my-social-life-and-a-chance-to-speak-with-J-tutor arrived.
****
Yay! -> My new word, YAY. Pronounced = yay.
****
You never knew me when I had a nice bum, did you? I actually think it really jeopardizes our friendship, and until my bum is firm, we can't be mates.
****
So there you have it. A window into our complicated lives. Did you keep your teen correspondence? Love letters? Have a super-best friend you passed notes with? Tell me all about it :)
*When I say "all" my love letters, it means about two. I wasn't popular much!
My girlfriends and I had a yellow note book called Stan.
ReplyDeleteIt was shared around the group and we would take it in turns as to who got to be "The Keeper of Stan"
Everything was in there. Sticky-taped 2 pound coins to the front for emergency fag buying (we could buy a packet of 10 Marlborough lights for 2 pounds) photos, spare , vows of best friends forever and ever, declarations of love for our current boyfriends and days later pages and pages of tear stained heart break when we (okay, I) found out that David fucking Rawbone slept with Kirsty Blane and broke my heart into a million pieces. Asshole.
We went through 12 notebooks, all named stan.
We are all still very good friends, even though we are all now scattered around the world, although mysteriously none of us know what happened to Stan.
Oh jeez. I am right there with you on this one. (Except for the David Duchovny part...really?) ALL of my letters (love and otherwise) are at my Mum's house in many, many shoeboxes. And it's only this year (at 28 y.o) that I've lost the mortal fear of her reading any of them. I'm content with the fact that she's probably read a bunch of them & died laughing. I die laughing thinking about what some of them say! Especially the love letters! Teenagers are so dumb! Haha. My best friend (for a bit) and I even had an exercise book that we used to write to each other in, and pass it back and forth. I'm so glad that I eventually ended up with it, especially as it contains a written record of the demise of our friendship (it was totally my fault). Ok, this is becoming a blog post instead of a blog post comment, so...bye.
ReplyDeleteHaha! I don't even want to know the notes my girlfriends and I wrote to each other in school! But I do love the toilet goss and the bum refirmation!
ReplyDeleteMe and Nick started dating when we were 15 years old and I have all our love notes!! That was 25 years ago! Yikes! I also have every letter we wrote each other while he was deployed on two different six month cruises in the Navy... This was back in the day before Internet.. We pulled them out a few years ago to weed out some of the ones we thought our kids would rather not read once we are dead and gone but we didn't get too far! I've got to get back on that!! Oh my!
ReplyDeletethats hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI almost forget what it was like to be a teenager falling in and out of love and wagging, and smoking/kissing behind the metal workshop. ( I got busted kissing a guy there once by the principle who was showing prospective parents around the campus.)
And that first real teen love. the one that sticks in your heart and memory forever. the one where you occassionally wonder what ever happened to them?
I love love love this!! The depression poem, the suspected masturbation - I actually LOLed!
ReplyDeleteMe and my friends used to do letters all folded up into these intricate designs where you had to pull on one tab and the letter fell open to a barrage of teen angst and jokes all written in coloured textas.
I have no idea where these letters turned up, but you have inspired me to go find them...
I had several letter books growing up. Were they out in your day? Basically a notebook that you passed back and forth and wrote to one another in.
ReplyDeleteProblem is, 2 of those were stolen. By this phsycho bitch who was dating my cherry popper ex who was a total loser, but alas we remained friends because he was....weird.*sigh* So yeah she stole my letter books from my 2 besties thus ruining my chances of ever reading back over the hilarious stuff we wrote. And boy were we funny!
I especially laughed at the "they probably think i'm masturbating in here" that was gold.