10 Things St Murphy Wishes He Didn't Know About Me.

Merry Memeday, Memesters!

The illustrious St Murphy has tagged me in a recent post of his, explaining that because we're newbie friends and live very far apart, I need to be part of this over-sharing online *because it may be years before we can drink far too many vodka tonics and have a bit of a cry in the bathrooms together, thus cementing our friendship.

Entitled "10 things you didn't know about me", the meme made its way onto St Murphy's site, where he changed it to 10 things one wished one didn't know about him. I'm going to go one step farther. I see your idea and raise you two Minties and a Fantale, if you will.

1. Between the ages of 18 and 26 25 I drank nothing but Jim Beam Real McCoy.
Or some other random cheap bourbon. Very sad, I know, but girl drinks were for SISSIES and I hadn't yet come to the conclusion that bourbon tastes like crushed ants. Toward the end of this period, I discovered the joys of rum in a can...

2. I can pick my nose with my tongue.
I can do no such thing. Despite it being horrifically disgusting, my tongue is just too short. Once when I was getting it pierced, the nice lady had it clamped and was trying her hardest to get me to extend it as far as I could so she could put the needle in. It barely went past my teeth. Small tongue syndrome.

3. I have a menstrual cycle.
Why am I doing this again?

4. My first car was a Datsun 180B 1984  Ford Falcon S.
It was big. And loud. And old and I bought it for $50. Originally it was meant to be $300, but I paid the first instalment and my friend told me not to worry about the rest. I immediately went to fill the tank and it was $60. (obviously a long time ago, thanks very much GFC and various oil crises). The car backfired constantly and kept running on even when I turned the engine off. People used to stop me in the street and tell me my car shouldn't sound like that. Sparks used to come out the exhaust, the accelerator cable snapped, it often wouldn't start unless I got out and whacked the starter motor, and I was once rear-ended by a kid in a Commodore. All I heard was a bang and thought my engine had fallen onto the road, and it was only that the car moved forward when I pushed the pedal that I realised it must have been something else. I sustained a small scratch, the kid's whole front and side panel was destroyed. I ended up selling the car six months later for $100, double what I paid for it.

5. I have never been to atoo many a church service in my life.
As an atheist, once is too many times. I grew up in a Catholic family, and I went to Catholic schools. I used to get the giggles really badly (it was always the blood of the lamb or some other nonsense that got me), and was always terribly bored. Unless the altar boys were cute, and then I spent the entire service trying to catch their eye and looking effortlessly cool. In reality, they never paid any attention to me, and I looked painfully awkard and way too eager. Idiot.

6. I never owned a pet until I was 32 22.I never liked any pets until my sister brought home a cat. I was hooked. I got a ginger kitty at 22 and named him Melancholy, as he was the saddest looking cat I'd ever seen. Of course I never called him that, he morphed into Juan, and I used to make up extensive Spanish back stories for him. He ran away. I can't imagine why.

7. I'm a folder.
I'm an envelope.

8. I still fantasise about starring in my own filmclip something that enables me to wear really good shoes and make out with Brad Pitt.I so wanted to be an actress when I was younger. .I thought for sure I was the one Hollywood was looking for, if only they could find me in my small outback town. I'm still waiting.

9. I've never ever been in a fight.
I've been in four... that I remember. The first was when I was 16, thanks to a girl (I use the term loosely) who used to frequent our hangout and pick us off, one by one. This day it just happened to be my turn. She and her friends walked me to the nearest football field, asked me who hated me, and hit me in the face. I put up my hands and three of her friends joined in. I was rescued by a really cute guy who scared them off and gave me a cigarette. I wasn't hurt at all, but I died of embarrassment that the really cute guy must have thought I was a complete loser and obviously wasn't going to marry me. Sad.

The second was the same year (Perth, what is WITH you?) and someone told someone that I said that her boyfriend cheated. I didn't. A very nice couple came to my rescue and I escaped unharmed...

The third was when my sister asked a psycho girl at a party if she was ok... and copped a smack in the mouth for her trouble. I took to the nasty little psycho smacker until someone pulled me away. First time I'd ever hit anybody in my life.

The fourth was when I asked a psycho girl at a party if she wanted me to call her a cab... and copped a smack in the nose for my trouble. I will never learn.

10. The reason I've been in the same job for the last 13 years is to stockpile stories for my memoirs. Never had a job for longer than a year is that I get bored very easily. And I used to move around a lot because I was just so interesting and independent.

Ok so I'm memeing it on to some fellow memers.... mostly because their answers will make me laugh. And I'm nothing if not selfish.

Redact That
Sarcastic Sidekick


*words may or may not be stuff I just made up and not actually St Murphy's at all...